We went to my favorite little NYC vintage jeweler and tried on a few rings. I was sure that she wouldn’t want a diamond, or even a gemstone, because she’s a more subtle lady. I, on the other hand, have had my eye on some lovely 1920s and 1930s rings and knew just what I wanted. We agreed that we’d stay around $500 for a ring, $750 max and luckily, there were three rings that fit the bill. We tried them on, the shop person was patient and we walked out talking about what a proposal or engagement would look like.
Should I call your Dad or something, she asked me as we walked in lower Manhattan.
No, I said with a smile taking her hand. Should I call yours?
No, she said with a squeeze.
So how would we do this?
I told her that we just would and then proceeded to leave her lots of hints and reminders to get the ring.
I picked out two rings I love equally, but the prices are so good I didn’t want to lose them. Not wanting to lose hers, an amazing vintage 1921 stunner, I went to the store and plopped down a down payment.
I dunno why, but all of a sudden the thought of having rings on our fingers sent me hurling into an early twenty-year-old woman frenzy so out of control I actually emailed some, okay, maybe something like 15 venues and caterers and photographers. We’re saving for the sperm so getting married probably isn’t the best financial decision to make, not to mention that I want to be as calm and relaxed through the TTC process and pregnancy and planning for a wedding won’t help in either department. But, I’m obsessed. And the thing is, the baby will come first. And just like preparing for a baby, I’ve already gotten a lot of unsolicited advice. Some say that we’ll never have time to do the wedding if we have a baby first, others show off lovely pictures of brides with their first child, one bride angry because she can’t have champagne on her wedding, but grateful to be swollen with the growing babe in her tummy, other who say that we should just march down to the courthouse and get it done.
Which I suppose we could do, but what’s the fun in that? Jewish weddings are so beautiful and so full of ritual I wouldn’t want to miss out on any of it. And, truthfully, I don’t really mind the idea of having our child or children at our wedding. So the truth is that the wedding will have to wait. We’ll head to the courthouse for the sake of the babes (which was our original plan) and hold off on a Jewish wedding in a few years. That doesn’t mean I can’t start planning now.
What about you Immas out there? Did you have a baby before a wedding? The wedding before the baby? or stick your middle fingers in the air at it all?