I have no clue what plan we’re up to and frankly, I’ve decided to stop making plans and just go with the flow, man.
So after the big blow up Leah and I got engaged 🙂 Not right right after, mind you, it was a few weeks or so.
We’ve both got stunner rings on our left ring fingers and while little girly girl in me is dying (dying) for a big, fancy Jewish wedding I know that the money that we’d spend on having a wedding would be better allocated to sperm and a down payment on a house. Who knows, maybe we’ll win the lottery and we can do it all!
We have been once again disappointed to see that our donors are getting snapped up before our eyes and since we’re pushing off insemination yet again because of a possible thyroid problem (found by tracking my BBT) I’ve decided to throw my hands up and say fuck it!
Not in a giving up way, but in a way that acknowledges that as much as we try to control everything, especially as lesbians since our pregnancies aren’t left up to chance. Yet, so much of it is out of our hands. We can try to control it, but our bodies, our lives, our environment have sometimes very different plans. Instead of fighting against it, I’m working on moving with it.
I’ve set an appointment with a doctor to check out my hypothyroid theory, although I have tons of symptoms-low BBT, itchy skin, low libido (fun), weight gain, insomnia and depression to name a few I’d like to get confirmation. It’s also important to know for sure since thyroid problems can interfere with fertility and pregnancy so I suppose it’s a good thing that I’m making this discovery now as opposed to 2-3 cycles into insemination.
So, that’s where we are. One day at a time.
Sending lots of love, patience and health out into the world to all of you other Mamas TTC!